Not sure where to begin, but isn’t that what everyone says, thinks, and feels? The first step towards anything is sometimes the scariest, right?
Not knowing, is what makes people second guess themselves. Whenever friends of mine have a great idea – I tell them to go for it.. but then they go, “I don’t even know how I’d start it or where to begin”.
So I’m being that person right now – I don’t know where to begin.
Sometimes when you’re feeling your lowest, the real you is summoned. You start to understand, maybe for the first time ever, how important you truly are – because you discover that vulnerability doesn’t mean powerless, being scared doesn’t measure how strong you are, and uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re lost.
I can’t disguise my tears or hide my sadness.. I’m not supposed to have everything perfectly planned out – but coming to this realization is killing me. When do we stop being so hard on ourselves? Can I figure that part out now? How do I let the good/positive thoughts weigh out the bad ones? Why are people so cruel to one another? Why do I feel SO much pressure to be something that I never used to care for?
My emotions have worn me out – more so than doing 45 minutes on the stair master. But this 45 minute stair master session has been stretched out for almost a month now.. My mind, body, and soul are so over this.. My happy mojo has been taken from me and all I want is to have it back.
I want to summon beauty and strength from this, and I know I will. As a reminder to myself and a message for you, when you just don’t know what you want – always want happiness; and when you just don’t know what to do – do anything.
I’m unsure, scared, and blinded.
These feelings are uneasy for me – but life is an adventure, right? I know that uncertainty, fear, and setbacks happen. Besides, “easy” has never been my style, and just because I can’t see the miracles, doesn’t mean they aren’t happening, doesn’t mean I’m alone, and especially doesn’t mean I’m on the wrong path. And if you too are feeling the same way as I am, the day our ship arrives – the confusion, fear, and setbacks will be among our fondest memories.
There is always a bright side.
xx
FINDAWAYTOBEYOU 
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Sometimes we need to just stop on the path you are headed,(have to find the perfect job etc..) because the pressure to achieve becomes disabling. You will achieve, you will be where you are supposed to be….in time that will make sense and you will learn a valuable life lesson. We all land somewhere, and that somewhere may not be exactly, or even near the path you have laid out for yourself. But you will land and it will be beautiful. So stop, take each minute and hour as it comes, pray, pray hard, thank God for all your blessings, and ask Him to help you land. I promise…life is figureoutable
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