I realized that I haven’t written about my (almost) favorite thing – love; being in love, falling in love with that one person over and over again.
But I’ve written about heartbreak, what we learn from falling in love, and the road we endure when losing it.. sounds like I’ve been bitter about this emotion. Maybe I am..
Okay, I am.
I’m bitter because thats what I want to do; to love and be loved – I know I have my family and friends to love me unconditionally, to be my anchor when I’m drifting away, or simply just there when I need someone.. But we (I’m assuming 99.9% of us) all crave the love that we will share with that one person for the rest of our lives; to grow old with, to share a family with, and all the memories that you’ll create while traveling the world, building your careers, and just growing amongst yourselves without judgement – that kind of love.
Yes, I’ve been in love. Yes, I’ve had longterm relationships. Yes, I am not perfect (but I’m intelligent, strong, and badass.. so almost perfect.. JK). Yes, I am looking forward to the love that really can’t be explained, it’s only felt and shines through body language, glances, touches, energy, and only each others eyes will carry more answer than anyone else’s. But, I do believe that all the heartbreaks I’ve been through, was time for more magic to enter my heart for my one, true and only.. Man, I sound so freakin’ sappy right now.
I romanticize everything.. “Oh my gosh, he looked at me that way while walking.. he must be telling me something… maybe we’re meant to be” LOL… literally, that’s me. You might not readily believe this, it might even sound dumb, but I’d like to think that there are those people who chose this very lifetime, in large part, knowing I’d be here – and vice versa. Gosh, is this honesty hour or something?
Speaking of honesty – who doesn’t love spontaneity? I have to give a shout out to someone who told me they liked me. It made me feel good because obviously I feel the same way (they just beat me to the punch). But people need to be more outspoken about how they feel! Because like this person said, they would’ve regretted not saying anything at all. So, if there’s someone you’re interested in… whats the harm in telling them? They don’t feel the same way? WHO CARES! I am a firm believer that people come into your life for a reason, just like people become your past and not part of your future.
Witnessing my brother, sister, and mother experience different forms of love and companionship is beautiful. It’s beautiful because its pure, innocent, becoming, raw, but ALL so different. This is why love cannot be defined. They each have their own definition, and I want my own… one day.